The Zonky Zoramites

When I was in high school, I went to girls camp (church camp) for a week in the summer. I remember those times fondly. We were supposed to come up with a name for our ward’s group. The name was supposed to fit with that year’s theme. One year we chose “Zonky Zoramites.” Because I was a relatively new member of the church, I really wasn’t that familiar with the Zoramites. That was 40 years ago this year, so I think I have it down now.

My husband and I have been married almost 19 years. We have so much fun just hanging out with one another. I feel so blessed. I love so much about my life these days. One of the things we have always joked about was whether any of our prospective two-story houses (we have moved several times in those 19 years) had a Rameumptom. Of course, our purpose was not to stand at that Rameumptom and pray out loud about how awesome we were or how much better we were than the others in our family. We are parents – no one would have believed us anyway. The reality is that any Rameumptom in any of our homes was used to communicate loudly to get one another’s attention when one person was on the top floor and someone else on the bottom floor. We are currently searching for a new home to rent; our search for the latest Rameumptom is afoot!

I continue to love and learn about Alma and his companions. I can only imagine how difficult their lives were and the conditions that were part of their experiences. I’m sitting in a comfy king size bed in a nice hotel (my hubby is a hotel photographer, and I came with him on his latest assignment). We have a comfortable car we can drive back home where we have our own king size bed waiting. We never go without food or water. We have the necessities of life. We like each other, and we like our kids. Like I said, I am so blessed.

The Zoramites during the time of Alma were an interesting bunch. They were so disdainful of the Nephites. They were also very critical of their fellow Zoramites who didn’t dress just right and didn’t have quite a high enough income. I have been and continue to be judged by others for things like that, and it really makes me shrug. Seriously? Don’t we all have enough to do in our lives that we really don’t have time to spend thinking about the supposed inferiority of others?

The poor castouts were humbled because of their circumstances. They were not allowed to worship where their “church” worshiped, and if they were in the vicinity, they got to hear the more prosperous Zoramites declaring to God that the poor Zoramites were beneath their notice.

Alma pointed out that he was glad the poor people were humble, though he took note of the fact that they had to be humbled by their circumstance in life in order to be ready to listen to the words he and his companions were there to preach. He mentioned how much better it is when we humble ourselves because of the word of God and are not forced to become humble before we’ll listen.

Alma the Elder was completely different. He was among a group of pretty worldly priests. I have a feeling he was a good priest, as far as that went, before he met Abinadi, but I wonder whether he felt his conscience pricked from time to time, knowing that he was not living quite the way he suspected God wanted. When he heard Abinadi, the bells must have been going off in his head. He must have been saying in his own mind, “This is it! This is what we are supposed to know and what we are supposed to be doing!” I can’t imagine his being able to go someplace quiet and be able to remember the words of Abinadi so clearly that he could write them down and preserve them for us to have today. Alma was a humble man. He wasn’t compelled to be humbled, but he was reminded of the right thing to do and immediately went out and did it. So many people were blessed beyond measure because he recognized truth when he heard it, and he acted upon that recognition.

40 years. Wow. Where has that time gone? I see pictures of my high school classmates and wonder to myself, “Why are these people so old? Weren’t they JUST 14?” Every single day of those 40 years I have marveled at what a blessing it has been to me. I am grateful for the Almas in my life. I am grateful for where I am today. I don’t like to think of where I would have been without the knowledge I now have.

Life’s pretty good, isn’t it?

You Can Make the Pathway Bright

Recently I have begun to participate in a college program offered through BYU-Idaho. It is called Pathway, which is a great description. It gives me and others like me the chance to ease back into the world of education after many years away.

One thing that has really been shouting in my head these past couple of weeks has been how I feel about other people. Because of the kind of work I do, sitting in a courtroom and writing down all kinds of things, some of which I wish I didn't have to hear, I am constantly being faced with the choice to judge the people I see or to see them as struggling just as I, but in different ways. In fact, someone in the weekly class we attend asked me the other night how I can separate myself from the bad things I hear and not be overcome with despair.

I'd like to answer that question. First, while I often say this as if it is a joke, it's really true:  Sitting in that courtroom and seeing the things that others are doing or experiencing sure makes my family problems look so simple. I normally come home and just hug random family members because, despite our struggles, things could be so much more difficult.

Second, sometime ago I recognized that I needed to make it a life goal to view others as the children of the same Heavenly Father I worship and love. That is often my prayer, that I can see others through His lens. I mean, face it, that's hard to do when people do awful things and cause pain. As I have begun to study the first chapters of the Book of Mormon, which includes classic tales of families with all sorts of different personalities, I can see why it was intended for our use at this time. It makes me want to be a better person. I mean, talk about your "far worse problems than OUR family has"!

Finally, I want to say that I know the principles I am learning are from God. I know He wants me to refine myself and behave as His daughter should behave. Each step I take helps me see Him more clearly in the world around me. We live in such a troubled world these days, and being able to recognize God in the midst of all the suffering, knowing how He loves all of us and wants all of us to find joy makes me feel a greater desire to have compassion and empathy for others.

To conclude today's entry, I'd like to add that I love my family so much. Yes, I mean my husband, who has brought joy to my life these past 19 years. I also mean our two kids, who, despite their personal challenges, are great people with awesome potential. They make my heart glad. I love their individual personalities. They both teach me every day. That's right, I said they BOTH teach ME every day.

I love my older son, who just became engaged to a girl who makes him a better person. Seeing your child you thought would never know real happiness in life grow so much and find such a wonderful partner is one of the best things a parent can experience.

I have two daughters who are happily married and living lives far different from one another. I am happy to see their successes and sad to see their sorrows. I am grateful to have the opportunity to see the choices they are making in their lives. Being allowed in is a blessing most people do not even recognize because, for them, it just "is."

I love my other kids too, those who don't currently have a relationship with me, and I can respect that, thought it grieves my heart every day. I listen for news and pray for them every single day. They were dealt a tough hand in their early lives, and it makes me glad to see them overcome.

I am so grateful to be a daughter of Heavenly Father. I know He knows who I am. I know He knows the things of which I am capable, even as I struggle to recognize them in myself.

Isn't that the purpose of our being here?

The Lord Looketh on the Heart

There was a *father who was deeply religious and had been blessed to bring many, many people to the Lord’s church. He and his wife raised a family, and when children grow up, we as parents soon discover that we are not always able to direct them anymore. Basically it’s time for them to be independent, and they really are NOT carbon copies of their parents. 

Same thing happened to this devout man and his wife. They had a **son who not only refused to participate in church activities, but he began to sneak behind his parents’ backs to participate in all kinds of riotous living. He even did everything he could to drag others away from the church. He had a group of partying friends, +brothers, whose #+father was as devout as this young man’s father. Their father was a leader in his community and was Christlike in his behavior towards others. Both sets of parents were so distraught. What more could they have done?

I’ve wondered about these families and how others in their devout community viewed the parents, perhaps judging them for their obvious failure or secret sins that led to their boys turning out so “badly.” I mean, if the parents were truly devout and raising their children the way they had been counseled by their spiritual leaders, how could they have failed so grandly? Perhaps they kept their children away from the families, especially the sinful sons, much like some people in our culture who don’t let their children play with children not of their faith. I’m sure they didn’t want to get tainted by such unrighteousness.

But after a life-changing event that shook him to the very core, the one son awakened from his spiritual slumber. His friends were equally affected. I can only imagine what they saw when they surveyed their lives and their past and all the damage they had done to so many people. These young men humbly repented and devoted the rest of their lives to building God’s kingdom they had tried so hard to destroy in the past. I again wonder how that behavior was viewed by their community. “Hey, weren’t these the boys who were telling us how stupid we were for being religious?” “Aren’t they the people who would stop at nothing to destroy God’s church?” “Yeah, yeah, SURE they’ve turned over a new leaf.” “SURE they are serving as instruments in God’s hands.” “I don’t buy it.” “Once a sinner, always a sinner.” “Why would God care to use people such as these?”

While I am referring to actual young men who lived, they were not part of our “modern” culture but lived over 2,000 years ago. In speaking of the one boy, most likely the most vocal of all of them, scripture describes him:  “And he became a great hinderment to the prosperity of the church of God; stealing away the hearts of the people; causing much dissension among the people; giving a chance for the enemy of God to exercise his power over them.”¹   Can you imagine the families of those he led away ever being able to forgive him and look at him without disdain? Maybe even hate?

In the New Testament there is a similar story about a *+man who grew up in a devout family and who was a part of the religious ruling body of his faith. He saw Jesus Christ and his followers as destructive to his faith and fought as hard as he could to stop the movement. And then he, too, had a life-changing event that also shook him to the core. He then realized that everything he thought about the movement he sought to destroy (even so far as being instrumental in the death(s) of follower(s) of said movement) was completely wrong. I can’t imagine how hard it was for him to face his past and be fully aware of all the damage he had caused, the lives he had destroyed. His repentance process must have been harrowing. The other man/boy who had lived about 100 years before the New Testament man had this to say about his repentance process:  “Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy.”²

These are two of my most favorite scripture stories. You know why? Because all of these men did bad things. Even the man who was fighting for his faith did things that crossed the line. These were the kind of people that we devout people try to avoid as if they are contagious. The only people who didn’t turn away from them were those who agreed with them. And God chose them anyway and went out of His way to get their attention. Their hearts were obviously good because they immediately repented and devoted all of their energy to reversing the damage they had caused. Each of them had such a profound spiritual experience, some even seeing or hearing an angel or Christ himself, who had come to call them to repentance. Why? God doesn’t do that for everyone. Most of us will live our lives without ever seeing a heavenly being. And these guys surely weren’t righteous enough, were they?

Ahh, but you see, I am looking through my human glasses again. If you look at these men through heavenly glasses, you can see that all of the good work they were able to accomplish in the years that followed was extremely important and blessed far more than they had hurt in their young lives. The human eye would only see their sin and error; but our Father in Heaven calls whom He wants to call and can do it however He wants. And sometimes He doesn’t use a still, small voice but instead uses the thundering voice of an angel to get someone’s attention. 

Repentance is very real and very important. It is one of the most important gifts we have been given through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Without repentance, the Atonement would be all for naught. Know any sinners? If you are honest, you count yourself in that group. And we are really only supposed to worry about ourselves and our own sins. 

Each of us is chosen. Our roles vary. Some seem bigger than others, but we each have a part to play. Heavenly Father is counting on us. I challenge each of us to slip on some heavenly glasses and look at others through the lenses our Father uses to see all of us. How much more beautiful would this world be, do you think?

*Alma the Elder

**Alma the Younger

+Sons of Mosiah

+#Mosiah

*+Saul/Paul

¹ - Mosiah 27:9

² - Alma 36:21