Traveling the rocky road of mental illness is daunting. Trying to
travel alone is, in itself, insane. Scott struggles with depression, mood
disorder, and bipolar tendencies. He has been on several medications since
August. He has also had a number of dramatic situations because, well, nothing
about this is UNdramatic.
Wednesday afternoon Scott and Kristi came home on the bus somewhere around 3:40. He seemed "normal." He is a pretty great kid. Much of the time we just deal with the various aspects of his being a 16-year-old boy. He is a boy who lives and loves passionately...with a little OCD thrown in ;-)
About an hour later, I knocked on his door because I wanted to show him something inane. He was in bed asleep, but he popped up and mumbled something. Actually, I was back in his room a few times over the next couple of hours. Kristi was too. Turns out we saved his life. When I went in at 6:30 to scold him out of bed to go to church for Mutual, he was still really sleepy and groggy, seeming to argue about why he couldn't go. I went into Darryl's office to vent that I thought maybe Scott was playing me to get out of church yet again. That was the clincher in saving Scott. Darryl made Scott get up. It was clear he was either impaired or faking it. But his speech was slurred, he kept falling down, his pupils were very small. In a dark room. As a retired emergency medical provider, Darryl saw signs he recognized from the many patients he has had over the years who had overdosed. He had to try and grapple with that along with the fact that we know Scott has a disdain for drugs, and we never have had a single thought that he would experiment. He decided that we should take Scott to the ER to make sure he was okay.
I asked Scott whether he had taken any of his medication, and he said no.
We drove to the church for a quick meeting (I know, but I honestly thought he was fine and that we would be embarrassed at the ER). Darryl and a member of the bishopric gave Scott a blessing. We took Kristi to the stake center for Mutual on our way. We walked right into the ER, into an examining room. The first nurse asked Scott whether he had taken anything, and he replied "Yes"! Darryl and I exclaimed at the same time: “What?!” The truth is that he took about 70 pills, using up all the half-filled bottles of rejected prescriptions as well as the one currently prescribed.
Wednesday afternoon Scott and Kristi came home on the bus somewhere around 3:40. He seemed "normal." He is a pretty great kid. Much of the time we just deal with the various aspects of his being a 16-year-old boy. He is a boy who lives and loves passionately...with a little OCD thrown in ;-)
About an hour later, I knocked on his door because I wanted to show him something inane. He was in bed asleep, but he popped up and mumbled something. Actually, I was back in his room a few times over the next couple of hours. Kristi was too. Turns out we saved his life. When I went in at 6:30 to scold him out of bed to go to church for Mutual, he was still really sleepy and groggy, seeming to argue about why he couldn't go. I went into Darryl's office to vent that I thought maybe Scott was playing me to get out of church yet again. That was the clincher in saving Scott. Darryl made Scott get up. It was clear he was either impaired or faking it. But his speech was slurred, he kept falling down, his pupils were very small. In a dark room. As a retired emergency medical provider, Darryl saw signs he recognized from the many patients he has had over the years who had overdosed. He had to try and grapple with that along with the fact that we know Scott has a disdain for drugs, and we never have had a single thought that he would experiment. He decided that we should take Scott to the ER to make sure he was okay.
I asked Scott whether he had taken any of his medication, and he said no.
We drove to the church for a quick meeting (I know, but I honestly thought he was fine and that we would be embarrassed at the ER). Darryl and a member of the bishopric gave Scott a blessing. We took Kristi to the stake center for Mutual on our way. We walked right into the ER, into an examining room. The first nurse asked Scott whether he had taken anything, and he replied "Yes"! Darryl and I exclaimed at the same time: “What?!” The truth is that he took about 70 pills, using up all the half-filled bottles of rejected prescriptions as well as the one currently prescribed.
The second blessing that came to us was when we learned that the ER
doc is actually a toxicologist, so she was very well aware of how the meds could
affect him and how to counter those negative effects, immediately putting him
on the right IV solutions that would start the healing process.
I am glad I didn’t learn at the time, but now I know (and my poor
husband knew then and struggled with that knowledge by himself) that at least
one of the meds was very dangerous for his heart and resulted in a type of
heartbeat that could suddenly change his rhythm to one that is fatal. No pun intended, but THAT is not for the mom
(or dad) who is faint of heart!
After about 24 hours in the ICU, Scott was finally
transferred to a regular room. His
appetite was good when he wasn’t sleeping.
Unfortunately, one of the meds causes hiccups, so he had very loud
hiccups for about 48 hours. Actually, I
just talked to him on the phone this morning, and he STILL has them.
Let me say one thing about the hospital. It was one of the best places I can imagine
taking one of my children. The staff was
skilled and caring and supportive. The
actual facility is beautiful and well appointed. EVERYone was kind and patient.
I will probably start crying as I type this. The only time I have given myself over to
weeping was in the 30 seconds after Scott admitted he had overdosed. Both Darryl and I
became teary eyed. We had known, but we hadn’t wanted to admit to ourselves that we
knew. There will be a time where I finally let go. Kristi has already had that
relief, and she has quickly moved to the anger stage. Let me just say that it is a good thing that
the next week is Spring Break, because the plans she has for a certain girl at
the school are nothing short of felonious.
That’s right, my sweet baby girl. She does love her brother very much. She and Scott have always been close (yes, they DO act like real brother and sister often enough for me to know that all is well).
Another plug for the staff at the hospital – not a single
person treated us with judgment. We were
treated as the parents of a sick boy, and our sick boy was treated as just that
– a sick boy.
We have learned things about this situation that have added to
our fear and pain and anger. It will be our job to protect Scott from the toxic “friends”
who aided and abetted him in this attempt. His psychiatrist told Darryl that
had we not intervened in the few hours after the pills were ingested, Scott
would have been dead by morning. The image of how that would have
gone will give me nightmares for years.
Through the hard work of the psychiatrist, Darryl, and the
social worker at the hospital, we found a hospital with room for Scott. He is now in Highland Ridge Hospital in
Midvale, and I am pretty confident that this will be a good place for him to
be. It seems like a very excellent facility.
This is a bit different from some attempted suicides. First, Scott told us that he really didn’t
think he was going to actually die. He
just felt “done” with that particular day. Second, his bipolar disorder makes
it very hard for him to deal with the ups and downs of life.
Scott has benefited from the prayers and thoughts of many
people. We know he is where he needs to
be. We know this was the wake-up call
that we, as his family, and Scott needed. We love him so much. Even when he is
his most obnoxious, argumentative self, there is pride in being his
parent. There is real enjoyment in
having his heart. He is a good boy. He is also very much his own person, albeit very confused because of his extra emotional/mental baggage. We ask for continued prayers and good
thoughts for our baby boy. He has a
tough road ahead, as do we. Please pray that we can love him enough that he
feels our support and knows we will always have his back.
Oh, and be on the lookout for a certain angry 14-year-old girl ;D
