Almost
6 years ago, having come to the realization that it was time to move from the
freelancing stage of my career to the more permanent benefits providing full-time
court stage, we began to scour Indeed.com, Craigslist, and various other sites,
trying to find places to apply, preferably in the western half of the country.
I found an opening and a lovely description of Helena, Montana, and applied. I
detailed in a past blog post how I was called and interviewed and almost
immediately offered the position. I was excited for the opportunity to work
with such welcoming people. And then, of course, that fell apart when they
decided they needed to redo the process and offer the job again. All these
years later I can see why it was a blessing that I was not offered the position
the second time.
After
a day or so of licking my wounds, we started scouring the job boards again. I
found something for Twin Falls, Idaho, so I applied. Again, I heard back almost
immediately. I was interviewed by phone and received a job offer right away.
There was a flurry of haphazard packing, and we began our 2,000-mile journey within
just 2 weeks.
Working
in Twin Falls was a mixed bag. The job was a dream. My judge was good to me,
and he was a delight to report. We lived in three different houses, though,
within the period of 5 years, and it was exhausting and infuriating. When my
judge, who had been receiving treatments for cancer for 7 or 8 years, finally had to stop
treatment because it wasn’t helping, he started coming to court less and less.
It was during this time that I started looking for a job in the federal system,
something I thought I’d always wanted.
I
heard back from one, but that was to receive the courtesy of an email letting
me know the position had just been filled. I heard nothing from any of the
other half dozen or so courts to which I had applied. One day in October I saw
someone mention on a Facebook page that there was an opening in one of the
federal courts in Mississippi and that they had not received a single
application. They had had a requirement that an applicant hold the CRR (certified realtime reporter) certification
but had dropped it because there had been no response. I thought, why not
apply? I need to listen to myself more carefully 😊
I
did apply and received a call shortly thereafter from the head of HR for the
district, who helped set up a time for a telephone interview with the judge. I
was a nervous wreck when it came time for the call. The judge seemed nice
enough. Her first question, though, was “Why Mississippi?” My response was and
still is that Mississippi was not on my list of “I will NEVER live there,” so,
since I was applying for a certain job rather than a certain address, I figured
I’d give it a shot.
Shortly
thereafter, I again heard from the HR person, who told me the judge wanted me
to come to Mississippi for an in-person interview. I had a ton of vacation time
accrued because I never used it, so Darryl and I hopped in the car and
drove across the country in early November for the interview. In fact, Darryl
had arranged to shoot two hotels in Monticello, Arkansas, which is about an
hour from the job location, so our “stay” was free.
Our
first time driving through the location of the court was dismaying. I have told my kids that
if we had moved them there instead of Idaho, while they were still in school, they
would have run away, and we would have helped them pack. It was once a
busy town, full of life and plenty of work. It has shrunk in size because most
of the industry has gone away, and there are blocks and blocks of neglected and
empty buildings all over town. Blight is almost a decorating theme. Downtown is
the worst. Driving through the town is heartbreaking. Crime is high, poverty
is high, no one is happy.
That
interview with the judge was about 5 hours long. I was nervous the entire time,
but the judge still seemed nice enough. She even asked to have Darryl come up about 3
hours in, so he enjoyed visiting with her as well.
The
next day the judge called to offer me the position. I accepted. Then we drove
home. The first day back to work in Twin Falls I told my judge and the trial
court administrator. That was really hard. Fortunately, the judge had an interview
right away with a qualified reporter who had actually applied for the position
that had been open since the other judge and his reporter had both left. Their interview
went well, and he called me into his office after and asked me to look over her
résumé. During that meeting, he kept stopping to cough, and he made the remark,
“I bet you’ll be glad to get away from this!” ☹
The
reporter was offered the position but then found out that she would have to take
the Idaho CSR (certified shorthand reporter) test because her RPR (registered professional reporter) was “old.” Thankfully, Idaho is finally
addressing this ridiculous requirement.
My
last day was January 12, 2018. My judge passed away on January 8, 2018. I left
within days of his passing, so the wound for me never had a chance to heal. In
fact, since that time, I have transcribed several things over which he
presided, listening occasionally to the embedded audio during my editing. That means
I continue to hear his voice. Even just reading what he said conjures up the
memory of his saying those words because he had a particular way of speaking.
Mississippi
has not been without its challenges, but we’ve mostly liked it here and will
truly miss many of the people and some of the quirks known only to the Delta.
Right now the cotton is starting to show in the fields, and that has a beauty
of its own. We now know why they talk about “Mississippi mud.” Oh, and this is where we were
adopted by our Jangle. Maybe he had something to do with our
moving here?
The
job has not been the dream come true I’d hoped. Much of it is due to the judge
and her way of running her court. There is an air of fear in the courthouse or
any courtroom in which she is presiding. Oddly, she doesn’t APPEAR to be unkind
or the least bit harmful, but….
I
don’t want to list in this blog post the specific reasons I….WE decided it was
time to look elsewhere. Some of you already know the reasons, and the rest of
you are free to PM me, and I will tell you.
Needless
to say, when I found ten openings in the State of Iowa, I decided to apply to
each one. That was Saturday, August 25. That evening Darryl suggested we drive
to Iowa after church on Sunday, so we made a whirlwind packing and logistics covering
effort and did, indeed, leave as soon as we were able. Darryl also suggested I
reach out to each of the administrators to whom I had sent my information,
letting them know we would be in Iowa the coming week in case they wanted to speak
with me in person. That led to five interviews, covering all ten positions for
which I had applied. These were in areas from Des Moines east; some slightly
north, some slightly south. We loved everywhere we drove. Iowa is so beautiful
and so CLEAN!
It
has been an interesting week. Lots of phone calls and emails, discussions between
Darryl and me. I mean, the best offer I could get is a full $20,000 less than
what I make now, BUT it comes with transcripts, and those pay an additional
amount not included in the salary. That provided a lot of talking points, some
of which weren’t very happy! But we are hoping that I will have enough
transcript work that the difference won’t be as big.
Let
me just say that every single interview left me thinking I could totally work
there in that place with those people and for that judge. I felt in my gut that
I would find a new home there, no matter which place I chose. We ultimately chose
the Seventh District, and the position is largely in Davenport, because I felt the most
comfort and the best fit there. Darryl had me list out the different pros and
cons of both my current job and the one in Iowa, ranking them in order of
importance. Number one was how the court family feels. The court personnel in
my current job are very nice and welcoming, but there is no feeling of being at
home there. There is a chill in the very air of the building.
I
absolutely feel like a failure and a quitter. This is some of the remaining
fallout of being a victim of domestic violence. Yeah, even though that was finished
about 23 years ago, it will ever direct how I see myself. I know I didn’t fail.
I know I gave it my all. I know I did not quit but that I recognized that I couldn’t
thrive in this position and needed to move on to something that makes me desire
to do my best and be worth all of the wonderful things I have heard about
myself in the past 2 weeks.
This
is terrifying and encouraging at the same time. I have no idea how we are going
to accomplish another big move in just 2 weeks (I start October 1, so that’s 3
weeks from Monday). This move is literally a third as far as the one from
Idaho to Mississippi. Also, we never felt more than temporary here, so a lot of
stuff is still in boxes, but still. Another slight improvement is this brings
us substantially closer to our kids, even though we will still be over a
thousand miles away.
Bottom
line, we had much prayer and contemplation, even fasting on fast Sunday about
this specific issue. Each of us feels peace about the decision and will have to
have faith that the transition will be less difficult. The wounds will heal
fast, though my heart will be tender for a while. But at least I didn’t wallow
in THIS misery for over 14 years!
