Today
is Thanksgiving. It is 5:25 p.m. Dinner is well on its way to being digested. I
did nothing. Well, I did put cheese in celery that my husband had cut for me.
He made the pies yesterday, and he made every single thing we had for our
dinner tonight. And it was fantastic. My tummy, as is traditional, is full but
happy.
I
am sad, though, because, while I enjoyed the company of my sweetheart and our
baby girl, there were three other kids and their partners I wish we could have
whisked to our dinner table and three others who wouldn’t have been willing to
be so whisked, no matter WHAT we were eating. My in-laws are in Georgia serving
a mission, so we don’t even know whether there was a gathering for the family
in Utah this year.
I
have read several of my Facebook posts from past years, lamenting how my family
doesn’t like me or probably wouldn’t care if something happened to me. I was
surprised to see that I posted such things. Oh, I’m not surprised I felt that
way, nor have I had some sort of amazing reconciliation that has swept those
feelings away, but I have reached a point in my life where I am not ruled by
them. I have long prayed for healing, and it appears that it is happening at
last.
As
I mull over how I want to celebrate the coming Christmas season, two things
have really rung loud and clear in my heart:
First, the Church has a Christmas initiative called #LightTheWorld,
featuring daily acts of service; second, I received the unmistakable, almost
audible direction that now (tomorrow, since I get paid some) is the time to
become reacquainted with and actively paying tithing. I miss knowing that I am
obeying this commandment, and I really miss having the opportunity to go to the
temple. It is calling to me. There is no other reason I cannot go. And with our
baby girl being accepted to Utah State beginning next fall, I know that we will
need to rely on all the blessings promised by the Lord to pull this off.
I
am grateful for my blessings. I am happy to be married to the person with whom
I most love spending my time. I am grateful that I am not mourning. I know
several who are mourning loved ones lost in unspeakable ways, and my heart
hurts for them. I am grateful for those that love me and keep a prayer in my
heart for those who do not.
My
deepest desire is that the upcoming new year will be one that sees us upwardly
mobile and reaching goals we’ve long had but couldn’t meet. I fervently pray that
something draws us closer as a nation so that we can help one another through
difficult times.
