We ARE the Royal We

As a parent, there is a surefire way to bring joy to my heart:  Seeing the dawning of realization by my sweet girl that she does have worth in the eyes of her peers. I still ache from the low self-esteem I had as a teen that only got worse as I grew older. I am growing comfortable in my own skin, but I cringe at how truly weird I was back then. I had no idea. Our sweet baby girl (okay, she’s 17, but we can pretend) is beautiful, empathetic, funny, service-oriented, and a person who knows what she believes and why (not talking necessarily about religious beliefs) and is not afraid to speak up about those beliefs. She has come a long way from the mousy little girl she still was when we moved to Idaho three and a half years ago.

Yesterday she was crowned homecoming queen at her high school. She was shocked on Tuesday to discover she had been nominated. Surely (she thought) someone was playing a practical joke because there couldn’t have been THAT many people who would nominate her, right? She fretted and went through waves of anxiety over the next few days, not because she really, really, really, really wanted to win – in fact, she had immediately resigned herself to the “fact” she wouldn’t win, but the feeling that came with being nominated couldn’t be denied.

Yesterday was a hard day for her. It was a Murphy’s kind of day where everything seemed to go wrong. And then Darryl and I drove to the high school for the assembly where the winners would be announced. It was surreal. Something clicked in my head, and I went from “Gosh, I hope she wins. That would be so cool for her!” to “Kristina is going to be the homecoming queen.” My amazing husband captured frame by frame her reaction as she went from confusion to comprehension to utter shock that her name was really the one announced. Being homecoming queen is insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but I have a hunch that, for some lucky girls, receiving that honor is life changing in a good way.

We had the pleasure of catching sight of her face from afar as she was around her peers yesterday at the assembly and later at the football game – the people who made sure she knew they thought she was good enough. The anxiety that she unwittingly carries about her wasn’t present. It was replaced by an open, glowing face that showed that, for an evening, at least, SHE knew she was good enough.

Which made me think today:  We are all good enough. Our peers might not recognize it, and most of us don’t ever acknowledge it, but we all have something in common:  Each of us is the child of Royalty. While it’s not as important that our peers or strangers find us acceptable, it is the greatest of joys to know that our Heavenly Parents find us acceptable and want nothing but for US to realize that too. They know how much our world would open up if we knew what They know.

Every single day I think about how we as a society treat one another. It is getting worse all the time. It grieves my heart. Just as I mature and adjust my own approach to myself and others, I am acutely aware of the lack of regard we have for one another. Our hearts have “waxed cold.” Yes, it matters very much how we talk to one another, how we see one another. How do you feel when someone does or says something nice for/to you? It feels even better when you can do that for someone else.

Somewhat reminiscent of the ‘80s, there is a lot of talk about how we should accept ourselves and not worry about what anyone else says. While I agree that we would be better off if we developed a healthy self-esteem, the echoing affirmation in our own heads can expand exponentially when others touch our lives in a positive way. I’m not suggesting that the opinions of others are what we should seek rather than standing up for ourselves. I am suggesting that each of us has the power within us to reach out and make others feel the way our girl felt yesterday. 

I hope that as the years go by, when she encounters the difficulties of adulthood, she will look back on this fun experience and remember how she felt. I pray she will always remember that she is acceptable. And I’m not just talking about our daughter here. I am acceptable. You are acceptable. Does that make you feel good right now? Awesome! Please share that feeling with someone else. You may never know whose bad day you have brightened because you didn’t hesitate to say the nice things you think.