Partaking of the Sacrament

I taught Sunday School to the youth in our ward in Virginia for five years. As any teacher will tell you, I am sure I learned far more by studying the scriptures in preparation than did any of the students in my classes. My first year and my last year as a teacher we studied the Book of Mormon. Unlike our Primary kids, I had not learned about the Book of Mormon as I was growing up, so as a 15-year-old, who thought I knew everything, a whole new world of people and their experiences opened up for me. Even after many years in the Church, it wasn’t until those years teaching that I truly became acquainted with those people. Abinadi is one of my favorite prophets in the Book of Mormon. I hope that after his death he was made aware of Alma and his efforts to teach all he had learned from Abinadi. Talk about a successful missionary!

In secret, as Alma was gathering people who, probably like he, remembered and yearned to return to the things taught by Abinadi, these are the words he spoke:

Mosiah 18:8 … now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;

 9 Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life—

 10 Now I say unto you, if this be the desire of your hearts, what have you against being baptized in the name of the Lord, as a witness before him that ye have entered into a covenant with him, that ye will serve him and keep his commandments, that he may pour out his Spirit more abundantly upon you?

Later in the Book of Mormon, Ammon, Alma the Younger’s missionary companion, converts many Lamanites to the Church of Christ. They were so thoroughly converted that they were all too aware of their sins, which were many and were grievous. Because of this, they willingly and gratefully made a covenant with their Father in Heaven, who had forgiven them of those sins, that they would NEVER commit those sins again. And they were true to their word, feeling that suffering the pain of death was far better than ever breaking that covenant. They were the parents of the 2,000 stripling warriors. When things became perilous years later, these people were still reluctant but, fearing for the safety of their loved ones, agreed to take up arms once again to protect them. Helaman, the son of Alma, talked them out of it, because he and his contemporaries knew how important our covenants with our Father in Heaven are. I could go on. Book of Mormon stories are filled with heart stopping moments and heart swelling testimony.

What does it mean for US to take upon ourselves the name of Jesus Christ?  In the April 1986 Ensign John S. Tanner, who is currently serving in the General Sunday School Presidency of the Church (and who was an English professor at BYU, so that makes him doubly my hero), wrote an article entitled:  “Reflections on the Sacrament Prayers.” He said:

“We who have taken upon ourselves the name of Christ, first at baptism and then weekly with the sacrament, may also be worthy to be embraced by the Lord. But first we will have to make an accounting of what we have done with his name, the only name under heaven through which salvation comes.

“We honor this name by keeping his commandments. But which commandments? At first, I think of the questions asked of me during a temple recommend interview. But soon I get to the even more searching great commandments: Am I truly loving man and God with all my heart and strength? ‘If a man love me,’ Jesus said, ‘he will keep my words.’ I believe this to be as much a statement of simple fact as it is an injunction. Those who love the Lord do keep his commandments.

“Yet no matter how inspiring our Sabbath, come Monday morning, the cares of the world quickly press upon us. I suppose, then, it is precisely because the Lord understands our human tendency to forget that he invites us to partake of the sacrament weekly. The commandment is adjusted, as is the Word of Wisdom, to the capacity of the weak.”

One of the greatest blessings from Heavenly Father is agency. Because of agency, we are able to make the free choice to give Heavenly Father the one thing that is truly ours to give:  Obedience. Because we are weak and sin, we also have the blessing of repentance, which is a direct result of the Atonement. Without the Savior’s Atonement, repentance would be a wasted effort. Also, through repentance we learn some of our most important lessons. Like anyone, I have regrets, mostly regarding my own sins and errors. And I have spent a lot of time daydreaming about what life would be like had I not made that mistake or this; how much happier would I be? But then I think, would I like the person I have become had I not stumbled and then struggled through the repentance process? As I prepared to graduate high school a couple of years ago, I was, unbeknownst to myself, judgmental. I had goals and expectations for my life. And then that life happened, and I painfully learned how hard it really is. I believe I have spent the intervening years repenting for my frame of mind in those early years and striving to look at others as the divine beings we all are.

My family knows how much I dislike the pairing of the word “agency” with the word “free,” because there really is no such thing as free agency. Now, there is agency that allows us the freedom to choose for ourselves, but we are NOT free of the consequences of those choices, good or bad. And then there’s the fact that sometimes we suffer the consequences, good or bad, of OTHER people’s choices.

Sometimes it is a struggle not to ask “why me?” “How long do I have to be punished for my sins?” But stepping back a little, I recognize that it is not the Lord “punishing” me. In some cases I still feel the consequences of my actions, and in other cases, I recognize that the consequences I feel are those resulting from someone else’s choice to judge ME. And one lesson I am struggling to learn is that I can turn to the Lord for help to get through those difficult times.

I believe the Gospel of Jesus Christ is true. I believe He lived and yet lives. I believe we all will be resurrected as a consequence of the Atonement. But let us not just believe IN Christ. Let us also BELIEVE Christ. His Atonement opened for us the opportunity to repent. Let us believe that for ourselves and, just as importantly, for others. That is an essential part of repentance. How can we truly repent of our sins if we are unwilling to forgive first ourselves and then others? 

These are some of the thoughts I have as I partake of the sacrament each Sunday. And partaking of the sacrament each Sunday humbles me as I renew my conviction to keep my promises to our Heavenly Father. What are those promises? That I will take upon myself the name of Jesus Christ and always remember Him, and keep His commandments. We have been commanded to take the sacrament often so that these things do not become items on an imaginary to-do list but to keep them in the forefront of our minds because they can and should be the spiritual GPS we rely on to make our way through this life.