Be Still and Know that I am God

As a Pathway student, I have been immersed in studying the scriptures and the words of our modern prophets for almost a year now. Even our math class and now our English class have revolved around inspirational material. In a way I have been practicing the steps I need to take to receive personal revelation, so the first thing I can say that I do to receive personal revelation is – my homework.

Elder David A. Bednar gave a talk in general conference in 2011 entitled “The Spirit of Revelation.” He described the experience of walking into a dark room and turning on the lights, immediately illuminating our surroundings. Then he described the experience when we watch the sunrise, gradually beginning to see.

Many of us have been baptized and have received the gift of the Holy Ghost. President Joseph Smith said:  “The Holy Ghost is a revelator,” and “no man can receive the Holy Ghost without receiving revelations.” That means that each one of us is entitled to receive personal revelation.

But how do we receive personal revelation? Elder Bednar listed examples:  “dreams, visions, conversations with heavenly messengers, and inspiration. Some revelations are received immediately and intensely; some are recognized gradually and subtly….A light turned on in a dark room is like receiving a message from God quickly, completely, and all at once….The gradual increase of light radiating from the rising sun is like receiving a message from God ‘line upon line, precept upon precept.’ Most frequently revelation comes in small increments over time and is granted according to our desire, worthiness, and preparation.” Elder Bednar indicated that this is the pattern by which most of us receive revelation.

There have been times in my life where I wondered why never received outstanding messages that were very clear and unequivocally from Heavenly Father. Elder Bednar said, “We as members of the Church tend to emphasize marvelous and dramatic spiritual manifestations so much that we may fail to appreciate and may even overlook the customary pattern by which the Holy Ghost accomplishes His work.” Because my way of receiving revelation has most often been subtle and gradual, sometimes I have missed it altogether. 

Oliver Cowdery, who was instrumental in helping Joseph Smith translate the Book of Mormon, also felt this way until the Lord had to tell him through the Prophet that he had, indeed, been receiving revelation far longer than he had been aware.

I am not the scriptorian my husband is, but every time I learn, and especially every time I teach from the scriptures, I come away with far more than I brought to the table. My personal feeling is that no matter how much time you spend reading the scriptures, hours or moments, you should open them (or click the app) and read at least a verse. My experience has been that when I am reading the scriptures, I am open to have the Holy Ghost there to whisper to me. There are many aids available to help us as we read. I personally love the Institute manuals. There is, of course, the Topical Guide and many different styles of studying. Many of the answers we seek in our prayers can be found in the scriptures. Studying the scriptures helps me to receive personal revelation.

Our church was organized because Joseph Smith, who, as he was reading the scriptures, learned that he could ask God a question. He asked that question, and as he would come to recognize, the Lord had quite an answer to a simple question. So many other things happened during his tenure in the church that all began with a question such as, “We were reading this in the Bible, and we are wondering what it means.” The Word of Wisdom came when Joseph went to the Lord and said, “I have a question…” Each of us should know that we can and must ask questions of our Heavenly Father. He has much to teach us, so His answers are there, so when I want to receive personal revelation, I ask questions.

Of course, much as Oliver Cowdery later learned, we aren’t going to always have the answers just handed to us simply because we ask a question. I learned a great tool in my Pathway class:  Pray before you read the scriptures, not just after. Pray about your concerns and ask for help and guidance. Then open the scriptures and read. Often the answers to your prayers will be in that reading. Other times the answers will come unexpectedly when you are doing something else, and you chance to hear something that strikes your mind with clarity. How many of us have listened to the same conference talk and all felt that it was directed to us and our individual concerns? And we were all right. Praying consistently helps me to receive personal revelation.

We need to be patient. I am telling myself that more than many of you. Back in the summer of 2000 my husband and I separately received an impression that we needed to move to Utah. Neither of us had any desire to move to Utah. We were almost afraid to mention it to one another, expecting pushback. Once we did confirm that each of us had the same impression, we began to get things in order to make it happen. Darryl looked for work, and we began trying to figure out how we would get the okay from my ex to take the kids out of state. First, Darryl was never able to get a job in Utah, despite his efforts; second, my ex was intrigued, but his wife said “no way!” We were stumped. Why did we receive this strong impression that we needed to go to Utah, and then there was no way we could do it?

We ended up moving to Selma, California, where we lived for one year. Six months after our move, my ex took his own life. Our son who was then 13 was convinced it was his fault, and he was reckless and picking fights with older, much bigger kids. We realized that we now had the freedom to go wherever we wanted. We also were aware of a facility in Utah that helped troubled boys. We moved there to live for about a year and a half. We were there for just a few months before our son went to the facility and stayed for a few months after he was released. It literally saved his life, but when we no longer needed this, we actually had to move from Utah, looking for a better financial opportunity for our family.

Since I was a young girl, I have had chronic headaches that plague me daily. About half a dozen times per year I will have a headache that is so painful and that lasts for three or four days. I am often reduced to a place of desperation. I hesitate to ask the Lord for help with my headaches, because one time I did, and the doctors discovered a brain tumor. They also told me right off that it had nothing to do with my headaches.

About five years ago I was having one of those multi-day headaches. The pain was awful. For those who suffer migraines, I will tell you that a migraine is something of a relief to me because it is less painful for me. During that episode, the missionaries came to the house to help my husband give me a blessing. It was intended to be a blessing of healing for my headaches, but it was far more. Oh, yes, the headaches were mentioned at the beginning of the blessing, but what followed must have confused the poor elders.

Our family is fractured in many ways, and it has brought great sorrow to my heart. I have prayed for years to be forgiving, to be at peace, to keep loving those who have caused pain. I have prayed for those people and their successes in life. I have been praying for a miracle. It all seemed to no avail. But the next words out of my husband’s mouth – and we both know that these were not the words he intended to say – were:  “Relationships will be healed if you remain humble.” A few weeks later, one of my daughters called me unexpectedly. She was a large part of the rift, but she called me to apologize. We now have a good relationship. It was a bit of a thunderclap moment for me because I had never believed that this would happen. Mind you, the rest of the family has pulled farther away, and it is still a struggle. All I can do, though, and I strive to do it, is remain humble, to ask forgiveness for my impatience, and to keep praying for those loved ones who are not part of my life. But I knew from the day I heard those words that the Lord was giving me a revelation:  Be humble and trust in the Lord.

I will close with my testimony of the Pathway program. You see, for me, this has been a time of great personal revelation. I did not know there was a specific reason we needed to move to Idaho other than to take the position in the court here, but Pathway is that reason. I needed to be in a place where I knew someone who had participated in the program and spoke of it often. Then I was ready to hear the call to join Pathway, and it has blessed my life beyond measure. The Lord has answered many of my prayers by directing the course and the materials we have been studying. I have been concerned about the turmoil over many issues in our society today. I wanted to understand. Meanwhile, the Lord had inspired leaders who created a whole new religion class for us, and we are the first group taking a class that is “just” about the family proclamation. We have only been in this semester five weeks, and we are only in the first part of the proclamation, but there has been so much reading involved that we are getting comprehensive training to understand the Lord’s eternal design for His children. I am receiving a glimmer of understanding, even though the questions have been on my mind for about a dozen years.

If I am still and know that He is God, I can hear his revelation to me to help guide my life. I know that the things I have outlined that I am trying to do are what I need to do in order to hear His words.