There is Beauty All Around

One thing we hear so often from the generations who are coming of age after us is how bad things used to be and how much better they are now and will be in the future. They are absolutely right! But not completely.

I believe every generation feels this way about those who came before. That’s how we progress as a species. That is why we no longer live in caves and drink from dirty streams. That’s why we have electricity, running water, and, blessedly, AIR CONDITIONING!

Having dabbled in genealogy over the past few decades, I have come across ancestors whose actions don’t exactly fill me with pride. I mean, there are definitely some slave owners and murderers (hey, some died in the Tower of London!) I wonder, just what will my great-great-great grandchildren think about me and how I lived my life? What values and beliefs do I have that they will consider selfish or small minded or even wrong? 

Here’s the real question:  Will they simply dismiss me and want to destroy all evidence I ever existed on this earth because something I believe now is considered bad in their time? I sure hope not. I mean, I hope I really am a good person and not simply because I try to be an honorable woman according to the dictates of my conscience and the social mores of our time. Even more important:  I am NOT the person I was 40 years ago. Thank goodness. That girl was so immature and self-centered and oblivious to what was going on around me in this world.

I feel very strongly that everything that came before us is important to remember. First, we don’t want to forget the things that we now consider wrong because how will OUR descendants remember that those things were bad? We don’t want to consign our ancestors to heck because of their missteps and even wrongdoing. Thankfully, that’s not our role. They all make up who we are as humans.

I just watched a fun video of a starlet from many years ago dancing. It was such fun to watch. The people were beautiful. The costumes were lovely. The dancing was fabulous. And I had a thought:  Right then in the world that was swirling around these dancers in that day there was a lot of social injustice. There were people who suffered from discrimination, hate, deprivation, and several other bad things. But these people had something beautiful to share with the world. I am so grateful that so many things have changed, but I can’t help but long for some of the things from those “good old days.” Imagine how it would be if we were to remove all the evil and hate and terrible things from the world and fill it with every good thing from every generation that ever lived on the earth. I feel a simple peace in my heart and even joy when I imagine that.

Please keep pushing for reform and growth in our society. It is painful, but we need that. We always will, if there are humans on this earth. But slow down. Recognize the worth of every soul, past, present, and future. Open yourself to being willing to see the spark in most people. Start by seeing it in yourself. It’s there. I promise. 

The other day I was struck by the thought that I TRULY need to love those who hate me and despitefully use me. They won’t care, nor will they likely know, but relieving myself of the anger allows more room for filling myself with the spark that I will then be more able to see in those around me. Concentrating on REALLY loving those folks at least helps me to appreciate the good things they contain within them.

It’s a good day. Go out and make it a better day for someone else.

We ARE the Royal We

As a parent, there is a surefire way to bring joy to my heart:  Seeing the dawning of realization by my sweet girl that she does have worth in the eyes of her peers. I still ache from the low self-esteem I had as a teen that only got worse as I grew older. I am growing comfortable in my own skin, but I cringe at how truly weird I was back then. I had no idea. Our sweet baby girl (okay, she’s 17, but we can pretend) is beautiful, empathetic, funny, service-oriented, and a person who knows what she believes and why (not talking necessarily about religious beliefs) and is not afraid to speak up about those beliefs. She has come a long way from the mousy little girl she still was when we moved to Idaho three and a half years ago.

Yesterday she was crowned homecoming queen at her high school. She was shocked on Tuesday to discover she had been nominated. Surely (she thought) someone was playing a practical joke because there couldn’t have been THAT many people who would nominate her, right? She fretted and went through waves of anxiety over the next few days, not because she really, really, really, really wanted to win – in fact, she had immediately resigned herself to the “fact” she wouldn’t win, but the feeling that came with being nominated couldn’t be denied.

Yesterday was a hard day for her. It was a Murphy’s kind of day where everything seemed to go wrong. And then Darryl and I drove to the high school for the assembly where the winners would be announced. It was surreal. Something clicked in my head, and I went from “Gosh, I hope she wins. That would be so cool for her!” to “Kristina is going to be the homecoming queen.” My amazing husband captured frame by frame her reaction as she went from confusion to comprehension to utter shock that her name was really the one announced. Being homecoming queen is insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but I have a hunch that, for some lucky girls, receiving that honor is life changing in a good way.

We had the pleasure of catching sight of her face from afar as she was around her peers yesterday at the assembly and later at the football game – the people who made sure she knew they thought she was good enough. The anxiety that she unwittingly carries about her wasn’t present. It was replaced by an open, glowing face that showed that, for an evening, at least, SHE knew she was good enough.

Which made me think today:  We are all good enough. Our peers might not recognize it, and most of us don’t ever acknowledge it, but we all have something in common:  Each of us is the child of Royalty. While it’s not as important that our peers or strangers find us acceptable, it is the greatest of joys to know that our Heavenly Parents find us acceptable and want nothing but for US to realize that too. They know how much our world would open up if we knew what They know.

Every single day I think about how we as a society treat one another. It is getting worse all the time. It grieves my heart. Just as I mature and adjust my own approach to myself and others, I am acutely aware of the lack of regard we have for one another. Our hearts have “waxed cold.” Yes, it matters very much how we talk to one another, how we see one another. How do you feel when someone does or says something nice for/to you? It feels even better when you can do that for someone else.

Somewhat reminiscent of the ‘80s, there is a lot of talk about how we should accept ourselves and not worry about what anyone else says. While I agree that we would be better off if we developed a healthy self-esteem, the echoing affirmation in our own heads can expand exponentially when others touch our lives in a positive way. I’m not suggesting that the opinions of others are what we should seek rather than standing up for ourselves. I am suggesting that each of us has the power within us to reach out and make others feel the way our girl felt yesterday. 

I hope that as the years go by, when she encounters the difficulties of adulthood, she will look back on this fun experience and remember how she felt. I pray she will always remember that she is acceptable. And I’m not just talking about our daughter here. I am acceptable. You are acceptable. Does that make you feel good right now? Awesome! Please share that feeling with someone else. You may never know whose bad day you have brightened because you didn’t hesitate to say the nice things you think.

The Lord Looketh on the Heart

There was a *father who was deeply religious and had been blessed to bring many, many people to the Lord’s church. He and his wife raised a family, and when children grow up, we as parents soon discover that we are not always able to direct them anymore. Basically it’s time for them to be independent, and they really are NOT carbon copies of their parents. 

Same thing happened to this devout man and his wife. They had a **son who not only refused to participate in church activities, but he began to sneak behind his parents’ backs to participate in all kinds of riotous living. He even did everything he could to drag others away from the church. He had a group of partying friends, +brothers, whose #+father was as devout as this young man’s father. Their father was a leader in his community and was Christlike in his behavior towards others. Both sets of parents were so distraught. What more could they have done?

I’ve wondered about these families and how others in their devout community viewed the parents, perhaps judging them for their obvious failure or secret sins that led to their boys turning out so “badly.” I mean, if the parents were truly devout and raising their children the way they had been counseled by their spiritual leaders, how could they have failed so grandly? Perhaps they kept their children away from the families, especially the sinful sons, much like some people in our culture who don’t let their children play with children not of their faith. I’m sure they didn’t want to get tainted by such unrighteousness.

But after a life-changing event that shook him to the very core, the one son awakened from his spiritual slumber. His friends were equally affected. I can only imagine what they saw when they surveyed their lives and their past and all the damage they had done to so many people. These young men humbly repented and devoted the rest of their lives to building God’s kingdom they had tried so hard to destroy in the past. I again wonder how that behavior was viewed by their community. “Hey, weren’t these the boys who were telling us how stupid we were for being religious?” “Aren’t they the people who would stop at nothing to destroy God’s church?” “Yeah, yeah, SURE they’ve turned over a new leaf.” “SURE they are serving as instruments in God’s hands.” “I don’t buy it.” “Once a sinner, always a sinner.” “Why would God care to use people such as these?”

While I am referring to actual young men who lived, they were not part of our “modern” culture but lived over 2,000 years ago. In speaking of the one boy, most likely the most vocal of all of them, scripture describes him:  “And he became a great hinderment to the prosperity of the church of God; stealing away the hearts of the people; causing much dissension among the people; giving a chance for the enemy of God to exercise his power over them.”¹   Can you imagine the families of those he led away ever being able to forgive him and look at him without disdain? Maybe even hate?

In the New Testament there is a similar story about a *+man who grew up in a devout family and who was a part of the religious ruling body of his faith. He saw Jesus Christ and his followers as destructive to his faith and fought as hard as he could to stop the movement. And then he, too, had a life-changing event that also shook him to the core. He then realized that everything he thought about the movement he sought to destroy (even so far as being instrumental in the death(s) of follower(s) of said movement) was completely wrong. I can’t imagine how hard it was for him to face his past and be fully aware of all the damage he had caused, the lives he had destroyed. His repentance process must have been harrowing. The other man/boy who had lived about 100 years before the New Testament man had this to say about his repentance process:  “Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy.”²

These are two of my most favorite scripture stories. You know why? Because all of these men did bad things. Even the man who was fighting for his faith did things that crossed the line. These were the kind of people that we devout people try to avoid as if they are contagious. The only people who didn’t turn away from them were those who agreed with them. And God chose them anyway and went out of His way to get their attention. Their hearts were obviously good because they immediately repented and devoted all of their energy to reversing the damage they had caused. Each of them had such a profound spiritual experience, some even seeing or hearing an angel or Christ himself, who had come to call them to repentance. Why? God doesn’t do that for everyone. Most of us will live our lives without ever seeing a heavenly being. And these guys surely weren’t righteous enough, were they?

Ahh, but you see, I am looking through my human glasses again. If you look at these men through heavenly glasses, you can see that all of the good work they were able to accomplish in the years that followed was extremely important and blessed far more than they had hurt in their young lives. The human eye would only see their sin and error; but our Father in Heaven calls whom He wants to call and can do it however He wants. And sometimes He doesn’t use a still, small voice but instead uses the thundering voice of an angel to get someone’s attention. 

Repentance is very real and very important. It is one of the most important gifts we have been given through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Without repentance, the Atonement would be all for naught. Know any sinners? If you are honest, you count yourself in that group. And we are really only supposed to worry about ourselves and our own sins. 

Each of us is chosen. Our roles vary. Some seem bigger than others, but we each have a part to play. Heavenly Father is counting on us. I challenge each of us to slip on some heavenly glasses and look at others through the lenses our Father uses to see all of us. How much more beautiful would this world be, do you think?

*Alma the Elder

**Alma the Younger

+Sons of Mosiah

+#Mosiah

*+Saul/Paul

¹ - Mosiah 27:9

² - Alma 36:21